Learn to Follow — Then You’ll Know How to Lead

Jesus said, “How can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then he will plunder his house.” — Matthew 12:29. 

In this passage, He was responding to those who accused Him of casting out demons by Satan’s power. He explained that authority determines the atmosphere. No one can govern a house unless the ruling authority there is first subdued. And in saying this, Jesus reveals Himself as the One with true spiritual authority, the Stronger One.

Someone recently asked me, “Who do you think the strongman really is in that scripture?” As I reflected, I began to see that the passage does not exist to glorify the enemy. 

In the life of a believer, the real strong man is the one submitted to Christ. A surrendered man doesn’t operate merely as a natural man; his strength flows from alignment with God. When a man yields to Christ, order begins to flow through his life and home, because “God is not the author of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33).

When I think of Adam and Eve, I don’t see Eve as a villain. I see deception entering through listening. She watched, she listened, and she received twisted truth. And deception, once received, always produces fruit. Scripture reminds us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). 

Eve eventually spoke from the place deception had led her into, and whatever Adam heard, he partook of the fruit of it. Adam was present but silent, and the greater tragedy was that another voice replaced God’s order in the home. That moment was not simply about fruit; it was about order being displaced.

The enemy still works the same way today, not always by force, but through distraction, subtle deception, and spiritual passivity.

But when a man lives surrendered to Christ, the order of God returns. Truth steadies him. Peace fills the home. 

Prayer opens the heart. Words begin to nourish instead of wound. Leadership becomes protection, not control. 

Some may read statements like “Learn to follow — then you’ll know how to lead” and misunderstand, thinking following is weakness, that those who submit are passive or timid. Scripture tells us otherwise: true following is intentional, discerning, and foundational to strength. Jesus Himself modelled this perfectly. He submitted completely to His Father, yet displayed unmatched authority. 

He said, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to finish His work” (John 4:34), “I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just what the Father has taught Me” (John 8:28), and “The Son can do nothing of Himself; He does only what He sees the Father doing” (John 5:19).

Jesus was never passive. He actively listened, observed, and obeyed, and in His obedience, He displayed the ultimate authority. His submission was not weakness; it was power aligned with God’s order.

The same principle applies to young men preparing to lead homes, workplaces, and communities. Following with discernment, respect, and humility is training in strength. It develops character, sharpens judgment, and prepares a man to lead in God’s timing, just as Jesus’ perfect submission prepared Him for the mission of redemption.

As Paul reminds us, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account” (Hebrews 13:17). Following is not weakness; it is preparation. It is listening, learning, and aligning oneself with God’s order so that when leadership is required, it is exercised with wisdom, courage, and peace.

When a young man learns respect, listens to wisdom, and receives guidance from parents, mentors, and spiritual leaders, he is being trained in God-ordered leadership. “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6), and promotion comes not from self-exaltation: “For promotion comes neither from the east, nor from the west… but God is the judge: He puts down one, and sets up another” (Psalm 75:6). 

A surrendered life becomes a promoted life, not in status first, but in character. Honour teaches humility. Humility establishes order. Order prepares a man to lead. And those who cultivate their hearts in this way — at home, in the community, at work, and especially for those contemplating marriage — are being formed into leaders who reflect God’s wisdom, grace, and strength.

Following is not a weakness. Submission is not passivity. Strength is born in surrender, and leadership flows naturally from hearts aligned with God. Before promotion comes visibility, before authority comes discernment, before influence comes obedience. Where Adam faltered, Christ restored the pattern.

Jesus upheld the Word, guarded the bride, confronted deception, and walked in perfect order under the Father’s will. In Him, we rediscover what true headship looks like: love aligned with God, strength born in humility, and leadership forged in surrender.

So when I am asked, “Who is the strongman?” I see the man who bows before Christ so that he may stand rightly in his home. Not loud, not forceful, but steady, rooted, teachable, honourable, and peace-bearing. 

And to the young men preparing for marriage, learn to follow well, honour those God has placed in your life, walk humbly, and allow God to order your heart. When your life is aligned with Him, your home will bear the right kind of fruit, confusion will give way to peace, and true strength will emerge.

By Noel Marcial—CEO & Creative Director, 4Soca Inc. and 4Rin Media; Creator & Host of Rezonate on CKHC 96.9 FM, Toronto.